My Redneck Country Holiday, Kansas Style

I have to admit, Labor Day this year, was a blast!!! Let me walk you through my day... Picked up mom at 1:30 and we headed to a small little town in Kansas, to Trina and Dan's farm - my niece (Jeanette's daughter) and her husband.  The farm is in the middle of nowhere on a gravel road.  On our way to the farm, we passed a vulture swooping down to eat a dead skunk in the middle of the road (yes, that's the name of a song, but it's the truth!!!!).  As we swerved to miss the skunk, a small bail of hay had dropped out of a truck, so we dodged that too. After arriving, lunch is ready so we all eat.  Now Trina and Dan's farm is full of chickens, ducks, rabbits, dogs, cats, goats, sheep, horses, cows, pigs and anything else that might want to live in the wild.  Make no mistake...I AM A CITY GIRL!!!!! I have my trusty camera with me, so Trina tells me to go to the barn with her and take pics of the sheep that her son, Hunter, is raising for 4H. As we get to the barn, 3 VERY LARGE HORSES and one miniature horse, greet us at the door. We have to walk passed them to get in the stall with the sheep.  I gingerly follow Trina - knowing she will save me from the animals if necessary.  I admit, I was afraid to walk beside the horses, let alone behind them, but I am a good sport, so I follow Trina - all the while making sure I don't step in any horse dung.  Trina gets to the gate of the stall and waits for me.  All of a sudden, I am rushed by Hayley - a horse whose legs are longer than I am tall.  She shoves me to the gate and knocks me off balance a little.  I let out a yell and Trina begins laughing. She says Hayley likes attention and I didn't speak to her or pat her.  WELL...excuse me, but I don't speak fluent horse...Once in the gate, I did call Hayley to the fence and patted her.  She was delightful and sweet. (still VERY VERY LARGE!!!) I was intent on looking for the sheep,wasn't paying attention and stepped in sheep dung. Again, Trina laughs...:):) She has about 5 sheep cornered in the stall, they see me and 4 of them run towards me rather quickly. I think they are charging at me, so I jump to the side, grateful I could move. WHEW, missed that one!  Trina brings Optimus for a picture.  He is beautiful!!! So then we go back out of the barn, just in time to see Dani, one of the sheep, opening the gate and running for freedom!!!  Trina yells at me to quick shut the gate because Pickles, the miniature horse, often gets out and runs to the road.  I hightail it to the gate and everybody is laughing because they think I am running from the horses... So now we go to take pictures of the newest little pony, Penni, and the tiniest terrior pup, Monster.  Monster is so tiny, she fits in my hand.  She is sleeping in a small puppy bed with a stuffed bear three times her size.  I squat low to get the full picture and her mother, Sissy, thinks I am going to hurt her pup and comes running at me with teeth bared. Trina grabs her and saves me again!  Damn...this farm stuff is hard work...Still there is work to be done!
Nothing big with Penni and her mom, Mini.  Penni is less than 2 months old and so sweet.  She follows her mama everywhere.  At one point, Penni was lagging behind and Mini was fussing at her to hurry up.  They were 'talking' back and forth for several minutes.  The 3 LARGE horses, plus Pickles all ran toward Penni as she was going to her mama.  OMG! Mini is small, but she let them all know who was the boss.  Pickles got head smacked and the other's backed off. Mini is one tough little mama!!!

REDNECK COUNTRY HOLIDAY, PART II
Ok, so everyone knows I love to take pictures of OLD barns, trees, and structures.  My sister's husband, Lynn -who is the original redneck Kansan in my books - volunteered to take me on a drive to get some good pictures.  We got in my husband's (Glen) truck and proceeded to travel the countryside looking for the best barn pics this side of nowhere...Remember the skunk? Well, this time, I straddled the dead carcass with Glen's truck.  Lynn immediately yells "Don't ever do that!" I asked "why?" at the exact moment I SMELLED THE SKUNK in the air conditioning!!! Enough said... We continue on for several country miles and I ask Lynn periodically when we are getting to the barns.  Well in country talk, it's a pointed finger right or left and an 'over there' and God know's I saw nothing...So we find some barns, we go some more miles.  I get some great pics, but the thing you need to know is that my brother-in-law knows everybody in them thar grassy plains.  If we saw a barn, he knew the people, got permission for my pics and proceeded to talk for about 20 minutes to each of them.  At one point, I needed a bathroom so bad, and nothing around but dead cornfields and trees -  so Lynn told me to go ahead and pee cos there wasn't anybody around.  I told him no thanks, I would wait - after all, weren't we headed back? Guess again...We went from here to there, east to west, and back again and he still saw farmers he knew.  And yes, we talked to them all - even a man in a white truck who stopped cos he thought we were lost - and Lynn didn't know him, but had a great conversation with him.  At one point, I texted my sister and told her I was gonna taser her husband if he didn't quit talking so we could go. She laughed in her text to me... By this time, I was considering the cornfield as a great 'outhouse' at some point when my eyes began floating.  An hour and a half later, my sister texts me and asks "where are you".  I simply said "Hell if I know."  Well, we finally made it back to Trina's house, and I jumped out of the truck and RAN to the restroom with minutes to spare!!!!  As I reflect back to our adventure, I come to the following realization that my country bumpkin brother-in-law knows a hell of a lot about country living, the way of the country folk, how to get from point A to point B without using directional markers, he speaks the language, and he enjoys all people. I was most impressed with the fact that he knew where all the property lines began and ended and who owned each farm. Lynn also knew which barns I could take pics of without being shot on the spot - for this I am grateful. (Apparently, in the state of Kansas if wooden poles/posts on farmland have purple paint around them, it means NO TRESSPASSING, and I am assuming violators will be dealt with accordingly!!!)
I thoroughly enjoyed this day as I looked up at the Heaven's amidst the chaos, smiled...and (to coin John Denver's song with a bit of a twist) "Thanked  GOD I AM NOT A COUNTRY Girl!!!"
  

New Year's Resolutions verses My Bucket List...

Every New Year's Day I reflect on what the coming year might bring.  I follow the crowd and usually create a couple of resolutions that I know I can complete - keeping my car clean, sending birthday cards to all my family, and reading for an hour a day.  Then I take on the task of thinking about the resolutions I should make that require a lot more effort and thought - you know the ones...lose weight, get out of debt, faithfully attend church every Sunday, eat out less and cook at home more (yeah, that's gonna work!!!), and the hateful 8 letter "E" word (EXERCISE!!!).  So let's be real.  How many of the resolutions are already out the door and it's only 1/2/12? Pretty much most of them at this point.  Am I alone in this state of affairs?  I think not...So, to put it in the positive, let's look at my own personal "Bucket List" of things to do before I die, and see if I have mastered any of them.  You might be surprised!!!
1. Go to the Swiss Alps. NO
2. Para Sail. YES
3. Go to Hawaii. YES
4. Go to Alaska. YES
5. Leave the United States. YES
6. Get married. YES
7. Have children and witness their marriage.  YES for 1
8. Have grandchildren whom I love to the moon and back. YES
9. Skydive. YES (indoor form)
10. Zipline. YES
11. Join the Army. NO
12. Write a book. NO
13. Take a cruise. YES
14. Meet a celebrity. YES
15. See Barry Manilow in concert. YES
16. Finish College and get Master's Degree. YES
17. Work in a job I love. YES
18. Have many friends and family to love and who love me. YES
19. Have Lasik surgery. YES
20. Be BLESSED beyond belief by GOD. YES, YES, and more YES
Let's see...17/20 that's about 85% completion and fullfillment.  I do believe that trumps the New Year's Resolutions.  Enough said. I will look to the sky, SMILE, and thank God for my Blessings, and kiss the resolutions goodbye!!!! Happy New Year to all my reader's! (all 2 of you!)